7 Family Tactics to Invalidate Trauma
The past few years have been very different from the life I used to live. This may come as no surprise based on the amount of inner work I have done. It has a tendency to change the external in subtle (yet substantial) ways until one day we wake up from an afternoon nap and realize everything is different. And my life has been no exception to that rule. Unlike the people on dating sites who say they don’t want drama and really do, I am really not interested in drama anymore. It used to help distract me from my pain and fill the emptiness. I needed excitement to get through my days and weeks of pain. So there was always something to keep my mind spinning and my pulse quickened.
Nowadays, there is almost nothing like that. My business has moments because working with clients in recovery is never without excitement as emotions and memories come and go. But that’s a different type of “drama”. It’s real and it’s meaningful and it’s actually accomplishing something (even though it doesn’t always feel like it). My children definitely provide drama in the form of temper tantrums and behavior “stuff”, but I know they are really good kids in the scheme of things. And when the adults in my life call me up with drama, it just doesn’t affect me like it used to. I can be supportive, but it doesn’t take over like it did. I never thought I would say this, but I don’t get worked up easily. And if you knew me in my twenties, that is something you never expected me to say (without laughing anyway).
My inner parts are torn about this new way of living. My freedom fighters would love to bring some of the drama back. They are bored. They want excitement in life, but I can tell they feel less inclined to use it for numbing out. My defenders are doing pretty good with it. They like calm. It feels safe and predictable. And my inner children seem happy with the state of things. There are no more abusive people to make them feel unsafe.